Why compete or compare? Let’s not. Say ‘no’, start there.

Adventures On My Bike – Day 9/28

Today’s recipe: Roasted eggplant.

I’m often saddened when I read posts about FOMO or feeling bad about what others post or the need for posters who have audiences to say ‘this is my highlight reel’. Seriously … WHY? Why be scared of missing out? Or why compare ourselves we others lives. Why do we need to be told that we shouldn’t feel bad because of what you post? What has happened to us? Why can’t we separate what we see with what our own reality is? Honestly … it perplexes me. And you know why? Because why would anyone have it better? We ALL have feelings and stuff right? Or are we special? Are we the only ones who in a day can live through every emotion that exists?

I took this photo from my bike (because this is a bike adventure series). I was balancing the fruit and veg in my basket and my panniers. My youngest … my baby, with his hands on my hips as I dunk him on the back of the bike was singing his heart out … we’d been at the market (real food) … shopped with bags I’d re-used (zero waste) … to the left a violinist was playing (romantic and European) … the season is summer (smiles in The Netherlands) … summer also means festivals and food vans (reminds me of Berlin Lix) … I was on my bike (my carbon omission free transport)… shopping done (food till next market day) … my daughter was smiling (tough week) … my husband is hiking in the ALPS (he loves that stuff, he even posted a story, he never does that, so happy for him) … dinner was covered (same recipe as last Saturday) … I’m writing (you’re reading) … that’s a whole lot of good stuff there! And sure, neither of us, husband and I are on our career trajectory (adjusting that)… we’ve had some shit to deal with since arriving here (that’s life) … our family isn’t close by (I miss my mum) … our identities are being challenged (starting fresh) …. we are having to make a choice, here or home (where’s home?) … but THIS, in this bike moment … it’s all ok, more than ok … this is as good as life gets.

Let me paint you some pictures of my day.

I could tell you about each photo or we could just talk about our days. There’s no perfection, there’s just life. Every day life. I bet both of us experienced some similar feelings. If you’ve read this far I presume we’re already connected in some way so let’s make a deal … let’s be working on our own nests. Moving forward, moving our furniture, learning to say no, learning to let go, learning to care more, to care less, be honest about what we need, slow down, speed up, walk, ride, dance, run, swim, talk, paint, write, cook, sew, love … whatever we need to move forward with … let’s work on that, let’s move and not worry about what others are doing. Let’s just agree to not compete or compare. Sounds easy right? But dig deeper. Every time we speak or act … let’s ask ourselves the question am I competing or comparing? Because if we are we’ll always be a step behind ourselves. And don’t we want to be present and contented with ourselves? In our own life.

Today I had a conversation with a fellow writer. One of my favorites actually and I shared some of my story ideas. And I didn’t care. I used to be protective of my ideas and today I shared them, gave her my quotes, analogy’s, everything. If she runs with and writes something because she read them … boom that’s a win. Neither of us own ideas. Especially those of us who write about and live life. We learn by experience and our human experience is actually not that different. We’re bound to cover the same ground. But when we share and talk without being held by the constraints of competition or comparison or even fear we choose a deeper path. I prefer those kinds of conversations, the ones we walk away from feeling good.

All competing and comparing does (with ourselves or others) is to stunt us and hold us hostage from living freely in our own lives. And for those of us who are parents … it can stunt us from hearing our own kids.

Recipe time – Roasted eggplant.

The head cold is still lingering. It’s why you’re not seeing hiking photos! But motion is in my mind, determination is in my day and because I write this blog – honesty matters, so I’m cooking.

My Buddha bowls haven’t been in play this week so I’m prepping. The week’s bowls (well 4 of them) will have eggplant at the centre.


  • Eggplant or aubergines (I had two to use)
  • Salt
  • Olive oil
  • Rosemary

How I prep’d them:

Slice the eggplants in half. Slice into the flesh diagonally creating diamonds … three diagonal lines left to right and swap.

Top with salt, let sit … at least an hour.

Squeeze and wipe the salted juice off.

Coat flesh with olive oil and place upside down on a twig of rosemary on a tray. (I use and re-use baking paper.)

Bake for an hour.

Serve as a side with a lemon or some balsamic & oil or I’ll show you how I use them through the week in Buddha bowls.

Buen camino,

Fran xxx

6 thoughts on “Why compete or compare? Let’s not. Say ‘no’, start there.”

    1. Thanks for reading Anna, glad you found something in my words to resonate with. It’s not something I planned to write about and yet, the words seemed to pour out! Maybe we’re all a bit reflective lately. Fran :)

      Liked by 1 person

  1. It amazes me how you so often write stuff I’m thinking! Your words are far more coherent that what’s swirling around between my ears though, so it really helps me leap ahead. And I love the real food recipes too ❤ #nomnom

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Karen! Thank you. Leaping – I do like the sound of that. Sounds like you’ve got some exciting things planned for this new decade of life! Kind of you to call them coherent 🤓 sometimes I think they are and others are way off on tangents but meh I’m embracing my diary style of writing. It’s the writing myself into new stories that matters most to me.
      Glad you’re enjoying the food recipes. I was thinking last night how I’m done with complicated recipes with ingredients lists as long as an arm. Perhaps the secret to a kitchen with momentum also lies in the simple especially given that I’m not a natural in the kitchen. I’m creating my own grandma’s kind of kitchen.
      Fran xx


      1. And when you have incredibly fresh food like that in your local market, why wouldn’t you eat simply and let the ingredients speak for themselves! I sometimes think we’ve become all fancy with our cooking because we need all those ingredients to give limp and flabby produce some oomph! You’ve certainly inspired me – yet again – to try and source closer to the source (if you know what I mean). And I bet your Grandma’s kitchen was totes amazeballs!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Um they were Dutch, not quite renowned as foodies. Lots of boiled and mashed together stuff. 🤣🤣🤣 It’s my imaginary grandma’s kitchen I’m creating … one from books. But real for my kids. I know what you mean and yep I think you’re right about food. Shopping at supermarkets really wears me down and taste is a massive part of that. Those tommy’s from the market are so sweet and tasty as a sauce. Does Brissy have a big market? Melbs is so spoilt with the Q.V. it’s still the best one going around I think. Ha ha glad we’re all here to inspire each other, super little place the ‘online’ space. Have a fab week Karen. F xx


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