If you’re here to find the link to donate that’s here Do it in a dress – Camino Finisterre.
When we travelled our big camper trip last year I remember writing about how I was growing strength. Growing by running in each new town down unfamiliar paths in unfamiliar countries. I didn’t want to be scared anymore. It has taken me a long time to realise what facing fear means. But I’m getting a grip on mine … the more I practice the more I understand where it’s coming from. It takes a lot of our energy this fear, being scared caper … and honestly who has spare energy to give away?
Like anything we don’t learn without trying, living, practicing. Holy crap look at me now. Solo hiking in the darkness of the morning, on an unfamiliar trail, in an unfamiliar country – IN a dress. True, there were a few people about, people who had already left the albergue but in this morning’s darkness I walked alone. Alone without fear.
Hmm perhaps that’s the theme of this camino? What am I scared of? What is it in life that I’m wasting my energy on because deep down fear is driving how I act, respond or make decisions.
I walked to my first coffee stop this morning at the 4.5km mark. Christian the German hiker I sat next to last night’s pilgrim dinner was there. I ordered my cafe con leche and sat with him. It would have been easier to sit on my own but hey it’s the camino and I’m doing that thing where I make an effort. It turns out Christian has kept a diary and each day he asks someone to write some words in it. He has entries from all over the world and I think a wonderful book of both his and others thoughts documented – his camino experience. Clever! Obviously I could never do it … ask someone everyday, ha ha no way I have trouble enough asking for what I need (there’s some scared for you right there). When he asked me to write in it of course I was awkward but I decided hey what does it matter! I wrote a page.
We ended up walking the entire day and in true German super hiker style he walked fast and referred often to his guide book often ;) I now have a grip on the distances and towns along the rest of this trail. In one town we walked past Skye from yesterday. It’s happening, the random familiarity and coincidences that the camino brings. We talked a lot of the day and while part of me missed the solitude of walking alone it was nice to share some camino thoughts. And our walking pace matched.
At the 32km mark I decided I was done and stopped for the night. Christian walked on, he’s walking 45kms today. I was first to arrive at the Albergue (€12 per night/€9 three course pilgrim meal) which is always a bonus because I got to choose the first bed! I chose the only non bunk bed. I also got to indulge in some introvert time after the jobs were done. It’s always the same routine shower, rinse the clothes, roll the feet, offload photos, write in my journal … eat a banana sometimes a beer although not today, I want an early night.
When it was time for dinner I ventured out into the cafe. The albergue is now starting to fill. I noticed a lady I was sure was on my plane from Amsterdam … we got chatting and shared a table for dinner. She had walked the camino from Porto in Portugal last year and is also here to finish the walk the the coast from Santiago. Actually she is from Amsterdam and we’re on the same flight home. We will probably have a coffee and a debrief together at the airport on Monday. I had an early dinner and as I was finishing Skye walked in! There’s a big group of pilgrims but I’m ‘people’ spent. I need some introvert time. So here I am updating y’all and getting cosy on my own for an early night.
That’s the thing about the camino and challenging ourselves to do scary things and face what makes us nervous. We can’t change ourselves and become someone we are not … that will never work. It’s about striking the balance. Knowing where we need to try a bit harder, do a little more, or perhaps a little less, the areas we need to put some effort in but ALWAYS keeping it at a pace we can manage. Walking our own walk. Building our strength, our character.