Tag Archives: Women

Why compete or compare? Let’s not. Say ‘no’, start there.

Adventures On My Bike – Day 9/28

Today’s recipe: Roasted eggplant.

I’m often saddened when I read posts about FOMO or feeling bad about what others post or the need for posters who have audiences to say ‘this is my highlight reel’. Seriously … WHY? Why be scared of missing out? Or why compare ourselves we others lives. Why do we need to be told that we shouldn’t feel bad because of what you post? What has happened to us? Why can’t we separate what we see with what our own reality is? Honestly … it perplexes me. And you know why? Because why would anyone have it better? We ALL have feelings and stuff right? Or are we special? Are we the only ones who in a day can live through every emotion that exists?

I took this photo from my bike (because this is a bike adventure series). I was balancing the fruit and veg in my basket and my panniers. My youngest … my baby, with his hands on my hips as I dunk him on the back of the bike was singing his heart out … we’d been at the market (real food) … shopped with bags I’d re-used (zero waste) … to the left a violinist was playing (romantic and European) … the season is summer (smiles in The Netherlands) … summer also means festivals and food vans (reminds me of Berlin Lix) … I was on my bike (my carbon omission free transport)… shopping done (food till next market day) … my daughter was smiling (tough week) … my husband is hiking in the ALPS (he loves that stuff, he even posted a story, he never does that, so happy for him) … dinner was covered (same recipe as last Saturday) … I’m writing (you’re reading) … that’s a whole lot of good stuff there! And sure, neither of us, husband and I are on our career trajectory (adjusting that)… we’ve had some shit to deal with since arriving here (that’s life) … our family isn’t close by (I miss my mum) … our identities are being challenged (starting fresh) …. we are having to make a choice, here or home (where’s home?) … but THIS, in this bike moment … it’s all ok, more than ok … this is as good as life gets.

Let me paint you some pictures of my day.

I could tell you about each photo or we could just talk about our days. There’s no perfection, there’s just life. Every day life. I bet both of us experienced some similar feelings. If you’ve read this far I presume we’re already connected in some way so let’s make a deal … let’s be working on our own nests. Moving forward, moving our furniture, learning to say no, learning to let go, learning to care more, to care less, be honest about what we need, slow down, speed up, walk, ride, dance, run, swim, talk, paint, write, cook, sew, love … whatever we need to move forward with … let’s work on that, let’s move and not worry about what others are doing. Let’s just agree to not compete or compare. Sounds easy right? But dig deeper. Every time we speak or act … let’s ask ourselves the question am I competing or comparing? Because if we are we’ll always be a step behind ourselves. And don’t we want to be present and contented with ourselves? In our own life.

Today I had a conversation with a fellow writer. One of my favorites actually and I shared some of my story ideas. And I didn’t care. I used to be protective of my ideas and today I shared them, gave her my quotes, analogy’s, everything. If she runs with and writes something because she read them … boom that’s a win. Neither of us own ideas. Especially those of us who write about and live life. We learn by experience and our human experience is actually not that different. We’re bound to cover the same ground. But when we share and talk without being held by the constraints of competition or comparison or even fear we choose a deeper path. I prefer those kinds of conversations, the ones we walk away from feeling good.

All competing and comparing does (with ourselves or others) is to stunt us and hold us hostage from living freely in our own lives. And for those of us who are parents … it can stunt us from hearing our own kids.

Recipe time – Roasted eggplant.

The head cold is still lingering. It’s why you’re not seeing hiking photos! But motion is in my mind, determination is in my day and because I write this blog – honesty matters, so I’m cooking.

My Buddha bowls haven’t been in play this week so I’m prepping. The week’s bowls (well 4 of them) will have eggplant at the centre.

Ingredients:

  • Eggplant or aubergines (I had two to use)
  • Salt
  • Olive oil
  • Rosemary

How I prep’d them:

Slice the eggplants in half. Slice into the flesh diagonally creating diamonds … three diagonal lines left to right and swap.

Top with salt, let sit … at least an hour.

Squeeze and wipe the salted juice off.

Coat flesh with olive oil and place upside down on a twig of rosemary on a tray. (I use and re-use baking paper.)

Bake for an hour.

Serve as a side with a lemon or some balsamic & oil or I’ll show you how I use them through the week in Buddha bowls.

Buen camino,

Fran xxx

What happens to writers as they expose themselves is purposeful, they are growing themselves by writing.

Adventures On My Bike – Day 7/28

Today’s recipe: A Dutch Sweet Sandwich.

Wednesday’s are a half (school) day here in The Netherlands. The kids finish at 12.30 and are home in time for lunch. I often still send them with lunch on their bags on a Wednesday – even after almost a year of living here. Old habits! It is one of my favourite days and one of my favourite ways to lunch is as the Dutch do. The table is laid out with the toppings, a boiled egg, bread and everyone makes their own (even the little hands). As a treat the milk is chocolate flavoured and mine love when it is served warm. As a special treat after the first sandwich there is a sweet treat! A sweet Dutch sandwich. It’s even sweeter for me because it reminds me of my childhood, growing up in Australia in a migrant Dutch family with a table full of kids.

Wednesdays are also the mid week market day in my village. After using all the left over veggies in the cous cous last night I needed to top up the shelves. For something different I asked my Greek friend Lexie to join me. We started with coffee and a chat (naturally) and then proceeded to shop for our fruit and veg. It was a super cool way to hang out. She was surprised by my reusing of paper bags and I was surprised that she smells the produce before she buys it! Of course she had me smelling the produce and I had her promising that next week she would re-use her bags.

We bought donut peaches it’s summer here peep’s! She also bought beans, loads of them. We talked about how she will cook them and I bought rhubarb and talked to her about how I will cook that. I didn’t buy any beans and she didn’t buy rhubarb :) Creatures of food habits that we are! Maybe next week. I think I will stew her a sample of rhubarb to try on her Greek yoghurt. We both agreed we would shop together at the market next Wednesday. And oh how we laughed during the morning!

My favourite Dutch Sweet Treat Toastie!

Toast with peanut butter, sliced strawberries and mint! I don’t always add mint but there’s mint in my window sill and this morning Lexie had me smelling the mint at the market. It does have delicious smell don’t you think? It’s really beautiful as it hits your nose when you take a bite.

Eating peanut butter today was a bit like chilling with my slippers on. I love it! I can’t have it in the house because my husband is allergic …. but while he’s away I can relax ;).

Food it truly is one of the is one most wonderful ways to create memories and build relationships. I bet we can all share a food memory that makes us smile. My strawberry sweetie reminds me of my dad. He is the man of the Dutch strawberry sandwich, he even adds an extra sweetener … he tops his with sugar! The guy is 74, he’s never quitting sugar. But it was nice thinking of him and his strawberry sandwiches. I must call him. I don’t do that enough.

This little adventure of mine, the one where I’m letting my bike and food connect me to my day and community led to one of my proudest moments of the week! The one where I gave the kitchen to the junior master chef and guided her through my muffin recipe (including how to clean as I go). I then left her to cook dinner (she didn’t clean as she went). With great pride she plated up individual bowls of spag bol and each bowl was licked clean. Feeling pride is important don’t you think? She’d a tiring morning so I’m glad she got to feel that this afternoon. Also glad she had the space to feel and paint (below) how she felt. We all feel, happy and sad, energetic and tired, stressed and calm. We have a saying for clean bowls at our house ‘Opa clean‘. Opa, my dad, literally licks his plate clean. Oh wow there’s another dad story, I really must call him.

Can I go back to the first week of the project bit? Yes, it absolutely had been a week. Can you believe it? Somedays, I do wonder if I’m a nutter? Exposing a little of myself each day, perhaps sometimes even more between the lines than you read. What happens to writers as they expose themselves is purposeful, they are growing themselves by writing. Because you see the writing opens them up just a little more every time. Well that happens to me anyhow. Maybe some of you writerly types relate?

I decided this would be a 28 day project because it took me 28 days to walk the camino. And boy did that camino give to me. It taught me that in 28 days if you stick with something you can move a long way forward. 800kms across a country in fact, 28 girls with the freedom to go to school and a manual; a new way for me to get things done. So for memories and the one week anniversary’s sake I read the words I wrote on day 7/28 on my camino. Here are some of them …

‘We are always looking for way markers on the camino. Scallop shells, yellow painted arrows, sometimes concreted paths have bronze scallops or tiles and there’s the odd cairn. Some days arrows are lovingly created with rocks and adorned with flowers. We need these markers to help us find our way along the this path. The sweet path that’s winding it’s way through this romantic countryside. Way makers, hmm a nice take home from the camino to everyday life I think.

It’s easy here on the Camino to find my path. I’m looking for the scallop shells and yellow arrows and now I’m also looking for welcoming chairs and tables, inn keepers who smile and I’ll also be looking at rooms if it doesn’t feel right. Maybe the lesson here is that life can be simpler with the right way markers.’ ~ Fran Camino reflections.

And you know what I know? And what I remind myself if doubt creeps in? I simply remind myself that I’m not a nutter for dreaming because I’m a dreamer and I’m finding the right way markers. I know that because the people, the food, the connections they are all yellow and they pointing this way. I am giving to the people that matter the most, including myself. I feel a new sense of freedom because I’m unafraid of doubt. It’s one of the new strengths the camino gave me.

Buen camino dear friends,

Fran x

Writing from Mansilla de las Mulas – Day 17

A good story always ends up about the characters doesn’t it? Today I met a few! It started at breakfast. We wandered in and sat down. Stevie Wonder’s ‘I just called to say I love you’ was playing. An Irish guy started singing (serenading the cafe), a French guy joined him and within seconds the table of Sth Koreans were also a part of the chorus line! Eventually the Irish guy solo’ed with ‘I’m on the camino, I’ll be home in two weeks don’t forget me while I’m gone’! We are all singing and changing words to express how we feel it seems. I don’t do it in the cafe but my sister and those endless horizons are my audience.

Days on the Camino – 17

Kms – Today 27 kms.

Starting point today – Bercianos del Real Camino, Spain.

End of the day -Mansilla de las Mulas, Spain.

Number of girls in Africa educated – 20

Total funds raised so far $6,240.00 ($60 away from 21 girls)! 

If you’d like to contribute you can do so here.

Frances Antonia – Do it in a dress.

Thanks for the help Kimmy from the Women Who Hike team.

Today was dedicated to – One of my little people is on the couch today. He has a fever and is a little flat. Number three, the one with all the energy and smile that comes from deep inside. I thought about you today, about what a spirited boy you are. The one who hikes up the front in our family and leads the way (after me of course. ;)). It’s not long until our summer holidays and I was dreaming about our plans to surf the North Coast of Spain. You my little guy will be in your element little grommet. Not that you aren’t everyday my sweet little all rounder. I’m so glad you have the dad you do, I know he’s taking extra special care of you. xx

Accommodation – Our first Pensión, La Pensión de Blanca. (€20 each for a twin room). The owner is super friendly, the rooms are clean and the showers are hot! Pensión’s will become a new option for us.

Food highlight – Arriving at the breakfast village to find a cafe serving local food is always a green light for us to sit down! Bacon and eggs plus toast. We have learnt to order toast as it’s not always standard with a breakfast dish. Which would be great in normal life but we need full meals.

Also I do love the odd tapa with the odd glass of red (tinto) while we are waiting for the dinner service to start at 7pm ;) lucky we had a 2 hour siesta this afternoon.

In a word(s) – Right where I am.

The conversation with these guys went like this:

‘Americano’s?’

‘No, Australians’

Lots of hand movements and either Spainish or Italian chat that I think gestured Australia is far away.

‘Syd-ney (2000 olympics style), Melbourne, Canberra?’

‘Melbourne’

Loads more Spanish or Italian, definitely kind words and lots of smiles. We don’t think they were laughing at us.

And then a ‘Buen camino’

Beauty we all understand that!

Another round of ‘Buen Camino’s’ and we walked on.

We spent a bit of time walking behind this lot. This dog is having the most fun out of anyone I’ve seen on the camino. Yes Sue you’re right, dog heaven. It was like watching a happy child play!

This local in his sneakers was on his morning walk wishing everyone who walked past him a ‘Buen Camino’. Everyday these locals must say hola, buenos días and buen camino a hundred times as pilgrims and walkers pass through their towns. We have been so warmly treated along this camino.

My best hiking mate, my little sister. My perfectly matched travel friend. We even order the same food … every time! Twinnies. Some days we walk most of the day silently, sometimes we chatter, sometimes I sing to her, she tells me I’m turning into our mum, so I stop and each day we laugh. I need to take that daily laughter back to my life! How do you laugh so hard each day without the pain and the funny ‘Cliff Young’ shuffle thing we have going on after we stop and restart again? Maybe I’m more serious at home than I thought I was.

Calle Real! Royal Street. Currently on it.

‘I can treat any pain’ her backpack sign stated. I wondered how? I’m sure it was interesting but by the time I caught this walker I was 1km away from the destination. My feet only had eyes for the Pensión we had booked and my mind was focussed on the pasta I was going to inhale. Plus I had taken a ibuprofen an hour ago!

There are a lot of matchy matchy couples walking together. They’ve obviously planned this adventure together and geared up at the same shop. Many tell me they attended a presentation about the camino. If this is something you’re interested in I’d check your local outdoor gear shop. Maybe I’ll do one one day. Perhaps my sponsor Wildeness Wear might be keen to let share how awesome a camino is at their store to thank them for their support! I’d have to move home first though.

Ps their socks are the holy grail of hiking socks. I’m not paid to say that. They were excited to be a part of a hike for charity. I’m testing some of their gear and it’s awesome and I will only buy from them in the future – no blisters and ethically made.

My favourite by day – Women’s Cape to Cape Light Hiker

My favourite by night – Women’s Larapinta Hiker

On our very first pilgrim dinner someone said the Norwegians were the ‘super’ hikers. Obvs they hadn’t met any Australian chicks ha ha. No, not really, we can’t keep up with the Germans! They are the super hikers. Geared up in their technical gear and always with the guide book in their pocket (the hiking pants that convert to shorts). It you’re at a crossroad where there is a choice of routes you better hope there’s a German – they will know exactly which way to go.

The further down the trail we go the more bikes we see. They are awesomely considerate and we share the path as comrades, even with local riders. Initially I thought I’d cycle this as it could be done in 2 weeks … I’m so glad I’m hiking it. I think you’d need to be an experienced mountain biker to do this.

Casa Pablo – Pablo’s house.

We’ve been flanked by mountains to the right as we’ve walked another 60kms over past few days. Obviously this excites me being a mountain girl at heart. I do hike those hills like a mountain goat … even my star sign is a crab! Although I did grow up climbing mountains and I love the ocean equally.

Not a day goes by that I’m not in awe of this experience and this countryside, even the times in between when we’re hiking along the roadside. It’s a stunning part of Spain.

As an Australian I believe we grow up with a real connection to our land. Perhaps also because my childhood was spend on my Opa’s farm and living amongst National parks. I’ve chatted to other Aussies who feel this. Like many Aussies my background is European so I also feel connected to Europe.

When we lived in Ireland last year I felt a deep connection to that land which really surprised me. I haven’t had that anywhere else yet and as much as I appreciate this landscape, not here.

As we head further West we will enter mountainous region of NW Spain, the Galicia and Asturias with is history of Celtic Castro’s (village settlements) … I wonder if I will feel a connection there. I will know then if my ancestry comes from the continental celts and if not, perhaps it is from vikings?

Buen Camino lovely friends, those of you who read with your morning coffee enjoy! And thanks for all those kind messages.

Fran xx

Writing from Grañón – Day 9

Two maps because my watch went flat!

Isn’t it incredible how our bodies can adjust? In just 9 days we’ve walked over 200kms. Initially once arriving at our accommodation all we wanted to do was kick our shoes off, desperately! Now not only do we not need to do that but we also can walk comfortably up and down the stairs. No more DOMS.

Don’t get me wrong when we are walking during the day something can randomly begin to hurt but my body seems to be finding it’s rhythm – 30kms is still my max.

Days on the Camino – 9

Kms – Today 29 kms. Our total is now around 230kms.

Starting point today – Nájera, Spain.

End of the day – Grañón, Spain.

Number of girls in Africa educated – 19

Total funds raised so far $5,980.00. 

If you’d like to contribute you can do so here.

Frances Antonia – Do it in a dress.

Thanks for the help Kimmy from the Women Who Hike team.

Today was dedicated to – Mum and Dad. Ria and Frank. You taught me to be adventurous, strong, resilient, creative, capable and independent. I’m not sure if that was your plan … I suspect each of you have strengths each of the above. It has served me well. I can’t help but think this Camino is something that you would have both loved for different reasons. I’m a product of both of you so I love it for what each of you would have. And so today and most days actually I walk for you two. x x

Accommodation – I think we are trying it all! We are in a small town and the option was either a donativo or private accommodation. The donativo is above the church and has a communal meal, prayers and a sacred chant. We will try one of these ‘traditional’ pilgrim style stays but after the difficult night in that dodgy albergue a few nights back we’ve sought out our own space. Tonight we have an entire casa to ourselves. Kitchen, lounge, bedroom and bathroom (€22.50) each.

Food highlight – After walking 20kms with very few places to stop … heaven was walking into a cafe that sold a homemade burger with fresh salad and a chocolate milk!

In a word(s) – Feeling stronger.

After a week on the camino you find your pace, the people that keep your pace and your preferred mode of moving through your day. Of course we’re all moving here but we do it differently. There’s no right or wrong way to do a camino, there’s just your own way. Just like life, as long as your not hurting anyone (obvs).

Today I’m tired so I’m going to leave it here with a few photos and a quick poem.

A day of friends

Around every bend

A moment in time

That is just mine

Time to delight

In all that takes flight

Buen Camino,

Fran

Xxx

Writing from Roncesvalles – Day 2

My first pilgrim meal. My first night in a dorm since … actually I don’t even remember. A sunrise reminiscent of those East Cork mornings and a day of mountain magic!

Days on the Camino – 2

Kms – 17.1 kms = total 25.1 (blister free).

Starting point today – Orrison in The Pyrenees, France.

End of the day – Roncesvalles, Spain.

Number of girls in Africa educated – 17

Total funds raised so far $5,255.00 If you’d like to contribute you can do so here. Frances Antonia – Do it in a dress.

Thanks for the help Kimmy from the Women Who Hike team.

Today was dedicated to – Today I stepped for my husband in The Netherlands! This kind of hike with 4 school age kids is not possible without some selfless support. I am where I am because that incredible man is a dream nurturer.

Accommodation – The refuge in Roncesvalles is an old monastery. It’s €8 per night, we added breakfast €5 the one with fruit added and €10 for the 3 course pilgrim dinner. Two bunks per cubicle – I’m on the top bunk tonight ;).

Food highlight – Oh this is a hard one! The 3 course pilgrim meal last night was pretty fine – but the breaky . A bowl of coffee and two pieces of leftover baguettes from dinner toasted with jam.

In a word(s) – Bursting with amazement.

My first pilgrim meal was a three course family feeling affair in this French auberge at Orrison. At around 6 pm the tables were pulled together to form long shared dining tables … hogwarts or Henry the VIII style. I’d have to come out of the shadows and my corner table for this one. Time to join the pilgrim community ;).

After a deliciously simple 3 course dinner of soup, roast pork, beans, veggies and rice pudding we had to follow a ‘pilgrim tradition’. We had to introduce ourselves, our nationality and our purpose for walking. I actually ended up finding this more enjoyable than fearing it. Standing up in front of 30 strangers talking about myself is pretty nerve racking for me.

There are sisters walking, solo walkers, repeat walkers, mother and daughters walking, many ‘transitioners’! That’s a thing – people moving from work life to part time or retirement life.

There was also 23 year old Lucas who has just finished studying and is doing a Camino before he starts his work life. I think he’s going to be well equipped. Do you want to know something really cool? He’s doing it with his dad who having just finished his work life is seeing walking to see what’s next!

Sleeping was fine for those of you who cringed at yesterday’s post … happy to report there were no snorers in our dorm :) we got lucky. Not everyone was, the lovely British mother and daughters team shared stories of snoring woe over breakfast. They’ve checked into the hotel here tonight. If they’re lucky they’ll meet the Brilliantly inspiring Canadian lady I met the first night (the sprightly one, remember her?). She is staying there tonight I recall.

There are plenty of different ways to do a Camino friends! Plenty of ways to mix it up. I must admit I didn’t sleep the whole night, I think that will take time to ease into. Or maybe some longer hiking days.

We awoke to that sunrise I stopped overnight for! What a treat. You know it’s going to be a cracker of a day when you wake to a sunset like this … and it was. Choosing the Napoleon route to walk into Roncesvalles was the right choice for us. We hiked in sun, alongside snow, under the trees on all kinds of trails, surrounded by magnificent wonder as far as the eyes could see.

There was a point up on the mountain where we stopped for a break when Sally from the UK and Melinda from Canada approached me. At last night’s pilgrim dinner where they heard about my One Girl walk and they wanted to be a part of the change! They donated to my fundraiser and we talked girls education. I walk with spring (the season) but can I tell you this absolutely overwhelmed me. I had not expected this.

In a day many things can happen. On this day on the Camino in the vast beauty of this Pyrenean mountain leg, the hiking built strength, the community build hope, the space built the courage to be and the time with my sister built joy. Not to removed from the good things in normal life hey?!

Speaking of good things I thought I’d detox from coffee but it’s quite a simple pleasure on a Camino and in life … so I’m keeping it! Although when and how I’m drinking them is different – less habit more pleasure like.

Buen Camino from Roncesvalles.

Fran x